Welcome

Welcome to the Institutionalized Academic: the ups and downs of a closeted academic with a psychiatric disorder.

Who am I?  I am currently a post-doctoral fellow in the sciences at a large research university.  My psychiatric troubles began in graduate school with depression and eventually progressed to something more serious.  Despite this I completed graduate school and continue to do well as an academic.

Why am I closeted?  The stigma about psychiatric disorders and the misinformation surrounding them is astounding.  My one attempt to talk with a colleague while not a disaster was unfortunate in the misunderstandings that surfaced.  I have concluded that if I am to have any semblance of a normal career, I should not talk about the difficulties that I face.  Perhaps one day, when my career is secure, I will reconsider this and perhaps come out as some others have done.

What psychiatric disorder do I have?  Unfortunately science is not progressed the point that my difficulties can be named with certainty.  It would seem that what I have is similar to bipolar, but perhaps also different.

Why a blog?  As an academic, I am often troubled by mental health dialogue that lacks in scientific rigour.  As a so called 'high functioning' person with a psychiatric disorder, I am frequently discouraged by the stigma that colors most discussion about psychiatric disorders.  The stigma even colors the discussions that occur in support groups online.  With this blog I hope to encourage rigorous scientific discussions and education to reduce stigma.

Is my name real? No. I choose to write using a pseudonym to preserve my identity.  So, do not expect to find me with a Google search of my pseudonym.